Committed
by enne23
Summary: He realizes she's been the one holding them together all these years. He's not used to being the strong one in the relationship. My version of how Nathan handles Haley's depression. Completely in Nathan's POV


**Author's note: A short story based on how I think things should have gone down.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of the characters from OTH.**

He bursts through the therapist's office, his features hard and angry. "We need to talk," he says.

"Mr. Scott…" she begins, about to tell him she had another patient coming in a few minutes.

"Why aren't you helping my wife?" he cuts her off sharply. "When is she gonna get better?"

"Have a seat," she tells him patiently to stop his pacing.

"Just answer me!" he hollers.

"With depression, there's really no telling how long the process is going to take."

"Bullshit! Just give me a time frame. A day. Anything."

"I'm sorry, as I said, there's no way to pinpoint a specific day. It could be today, tomorrow, 6 months from now."

"Oh, that's just great," he returns. "What kind of therapist are you? I thought you were supposed to be good."

"I understand your frustration…"

"No, you don't! You don't understand a damn thing! I don't think you even know what you're doing! If you did, she wouldn't be getting worse instead of better!"

"Has something happened?" she asks.

"Yeah," he answers irately. "She set her fucking piano on fire last night!"

She ignores the cursing and looks at him with concern as he continues.

"In the middle of the damn night! With Jamie in the house! If I hadn't woken up and put it out…" He's unable to finish, just shakes his head as the fear and helplessness envelope him as tightly as they had the night before.

"What was her reaction?" the therapist asks.

"She didn't even flinch," he tells her. "Her eyes were so empty…and then she went off to call her mom. Her _dead_ mom," he emphasizes. "I mean, come on, you can't tell me that's normal."

"Depression is a medical condition and it has different stages," she informs him. "You might do well to educate yourself…"

"I'm here, aren't I?" he rebuffs. "And if it's a medical condition, how the hell am I supposed to fix it?"

"You can't fix it."

"Great, so what am I supposed to do, huh? What is she gonna do next?"

"If you feel you're in danger…"

"I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about my wife and my son. What if that fire had spread to the house?"

"If you'll allow me to finish," she requests. "If safety is an issue, there is something you can do."

"What?" he asks almost desperately.

"Have her admitted to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation and treatment."

"What? That's your advice? Are you saying she's crazy?"

"Not crazy, severely depressed. In a psychiatric ward…"

He shakes his head. "I'm not gonna have her committed. This is my wife we're talking about."

"Who is showing disturbing signs of suicidal thoughts. She poses a danger to herself, to you, and your son."

"Haley would never agree to it anyway."

"You can go through the courts to have her declared mentally unstable. As her husband, you'd be given the right to make medical decisions on her behalf. I can write the recommendation that you'll need."

"No, I'm not going to just ship her off. I can take care of her myself. "

"Mr. Scott," she says just before he exits her office in a huff. "Your wife needs professional help. You can't do it alone. I advise you not to wait until something horrible happens."

"Yeah, thanks for nothing," he barks. Have his wife committed. No way in hell.

**888**

He sleeps with one eye open over the next few weeks. He's exhausted both physically and mentally but he's afraid of what she'll do. She's skipped the past few therapy sessions even though he tries to encourage her to go. He no longer puts much stock in them but they certainly couldn't hurt. She walks around like a zombie. She snaps at Jamie for practically nothing. She snaps at him too but he can handle it. He knows Jamie's too young to understand.

He doesn't know what to make of the phone bill when he gets it. All those calls addressed to her mother's cell phone. He feels even more powerless when he listens to all the messages. They are so dark, it terrifies him. He has no clue what to do. He just wants to help her and keep his family safe, but she keeps pushing him away. She'd rather divulge her dark thoughts to her dead mother's cell than to him. But still he thinks he's managing okay. She at least hasn't pulled anything dangerous lately. He hopes she's better by the time he has to leave for training camp, for her sake and for Jamie's. She's still not in any shape to care for their son.

It's not until he pulls her out of the pool that he considers what the therapist told him. And he realizes she's right. He can't do this on his own. One of these days, he would slip up and fall into a deep sleep. And then what? He knows he's got to do it.

He takes the necessary steps and a few weeks later, she's being taken to the psychiatric facility. She doesn't raise a fuss, but she glares at him with pure hatred in her eyes. He'll never forget it, but he's almost glad for it. It's the first sign of emotion he's seen from her in weeks. He almost changes his mind and he questions himself a thousand times. He thinks maybe he's doing the wrong thing.

That night he cries himself to sleep. He hasn't done that in, well, ever. He still doesn't know if he made the right choice until, for the first time in weeks, he falls asleep without any fear for his son's safety. That's when he really knows that he made the only decision he could have.

He knows he'll have to explain this to Jamie, and everyone else will expect explanations as well. He's not looking forward to that. He knows what to expect.

**888**

The next morning, he gives Jamie a down played explanation that he hopes the boy understands. He just says that mommy is still sad so needs a vacation by herself to help her get better. Jamie accepts it easily as he's just a boy who wants his mom back how she used to be. Nathan makes breakfast for the both of them and then drops Jamie off at Clay's for Quinn to watch him. He goes to see Haley.

She refuses to speak to him so he does all the talking. He's not used to that but he does it just the same. It's killing him to see her like this, but what hurts even more is to leave her there. Still he knows it was the right move.

By the time he gets home that evening, Lucas is waiting for him outside his house.

"Luke, hey," he says, glad to see his brother. He's felt so alone lately. But still he can see fire in Luke's eyes and he knows this isn't a friendly visit. "I guess you heard."

"Where's Jamie?" Luke asks, ignoring Nathan's comment.

"With Quinn. She's gonna drop him off later.

"How could you do that to her?" he asks accusingly, now that he knows his nephew's not around.

"I didn't have a choice," Nathan defends. Then it hits him to ask how he even knows. He hadn't told anyone but Jamie so far. He hadn't even told Quinn."

"Haley called me from the hospital and I took the first plane out."

"Wait, she called _you_?"

"Is that so surprising? We're best friends."

Nathan feels a prick of jealousy. She doesn't talk to him anymore but she still calls Lucas. He shakes it off because he knows it's ridiculous to be jealous of his wife's best friend. At least she's talking to someone, someone who's not dead. "And how did she sound when you talked to her?" he asks.

"How do you think?" Lucas presses. "First she loses her mother and then her husband has her committed."

"Lucas…"

"So I ask again. How could you do that? After everything she's done for you, everything she's stood by your side through, the first sign of weakness from her and you pawn her off to the mental house?"

"Luke, you don't get it, man."

"No, I get it, you selfish bastard. As long as she's doing all the giving, then everything's fine, but if she needs something back from you, then all hell breaks loose."

"It's not like that," Nathan tries to defend. "Look, you don't know, ok. You weren't here. You didn't even come for the funeral but you show up now? Where the hell have you been in the last few weeks when she could have used her best friend around?"

"Oh, I don't know, I thought maybe her _husband_ was looking after her. My mistake."

"I tried, but I couldn't do it."

"So you gave up on her."

"No," Nathan states firmly. "I never would."

"You had her committed. What does that say?"

"Well, I hope it says I love her enough to do what's best for her. And for Jamie too. You haven't seen her, Luke. She's not herself."

"Of course not. She's grieving, you idiot."

"It's more than that. She's suicidal."

"No, I don't believe that," Lucas denies. "Not Haley."

"That's the thing, Luke. It's not Haley. She's someone else."

Lucas shakes his head and goes on to say how Nathan swore to love, honor and cherish her. "Till death do you part, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Nathan acknowledges. "And I want to make sure that death doesn't come before her time. Lucas, you can say all you want, but I'm not backing down. She's my wife and I did what I had to do whether you like it or not."

"Yeah," Lucas sneers in return. "Well, I guess you haven't changed, after all. You're still as selfish as ever. When things get too hard, you bail. Nice going, Dan."

It's as sore a spot as ever. He's tried his whole life not to be like his father and he thinks he's done well. But when Lucas says that anger burns within him and his fist smashes into Luke's face.

Lucas charges back and they fight but then they hear Jamie outside and they instantly stop.

The boy runs to his uncle in excitement but Lucas puts on a happy front for his sake. He leaves a few minutes later with a promise to take him out somewhere the next day.

Nathan falls onto the chair after Luke leaves. He knew Lucas would take it badly, but he thought after he explained, he would understand. He knows now how stupid that was. Lucas will always take Haley's side. He predicts he'll get the same reaction out of everyone when they find out.

**888**

Clay gets on him when he tells him he's not going to training camp. Clay thinks it's detrimental to his career to skip it, but Nathan doesn't care. His family needs him at home and no matter how much Clay tries to convince him, he doesn't budge. His agent and friend finally gives up, knowing it's useless.

Nathan finally takes the therapist's advice and spends time every night reading and educating himself on the varying degrees of depression. He figures it's time he learns something of his wife's medical condition.

He goes to see Haley everyday, and everyday the same thing happens. Nothing. He's told that one of these times, there _will_ be a difference. He hopes so because he misses her. He sees her everyday but he misses her.

And every night he lays in bed, hoping tomorrow will be that day. Every night he longs to hear Haley tell him that he did the right thing. He thinks it'll happen. He thinks that, even though nobody else understands why he had to do it, she will be the one who does.

She will know that it was because he is, always has been, and always will be, a hundred percent committed. At least he hopes she'll know.


End file.
